vanilla thunder

and i french kiss our memories goodbye
tongue and all for the last time
like the night i vacuumed the vanilla sprinkles out of your chocolate taste-buds with my tongue
do you remember that night we had cupcakes

i kissed you

you were vanilla
i was chocolate
we were angels floating on the wings of god

every single star was sucked out of the universe and lost in the rims of your eyelids that night

i think i’m ok without you now

lightning is less frightening without thunder
you were my thunder
now you are gone
i feel safe

i like the sunshine
fog up the windows of my soul with short breaths dripped in honeydew dewdrops of morning

i like the sunshine
even though i don’t see your body imprinted into the fabric of the sheets of my soul anymore

i like the sunshine
even though it is always running away from me
i will chase it

i try to catch it’s rays as they stab into my abdominal then pierce into my heart
i am being sacrificed
but i do not mind
because i still taste the vanilla extract in between my gums

i’ll kiss my teeth and pretend they were you
and no one will ever know
that i’ve trapped you in my taste-buds

and i french kiss our memories goodbye once last time
because i like the sunshine
and i am utterly tired of vanilla...

Suspended; Caught Up In A Time Warp Of Love

It’s as though I exist in an alternate existence where time doesn’t exit, 
It just floats, gloats in the premise, the template that has pelted out into space in time
even gravity can’t intervene the divine,
Which was our love
I moonwalk on mirages
Float on petulant barges
Keep shooting from the hip with the same gun and the same clip
Wondering why I draw blanks…
I’m in December but my heart is in June
Beating in a blanket of tears for fears
When love wasn’t encased in a tomb of memories, regrets
My mind is playing tricks on me,
Painting portraits of imageries that are nothing but fallacies,
Entrapping me
I still taste your lips when I cry…
Somewhere between misery and ecstasy is where I lie
My only comfort is the ambiguity of the future
I am suspended, caught up in a time warp of unsung goodbyes…

corrupted tongues (freewrite from the bus ride home)

Crawl into my throat and blow kisses of life into my vacant lungs
Etch your initials into my tonsils
Scale the roof of my tongue
Fondle the sensuous rage spilling off the edge of my lips whenever I part them to speak words I barely understand
Tiptoe onto my taste buds without malice
Be gentle and kind
Inhale the venomous air that erupts from my soul with each passing moment
I want to infect you so I won’t have to be poisonous alone
I want someone to confront my demons with me
I don’t want to face them alone
Corrupted tongues swell and explode
Don’t let me explode alone

Beautiful

When he glances at me I feel like stars kissing the stark sky
Like Aphrodite's silhouette bathed in a petal of roses
Beautiful

Like the taste of his laughter simmering in my ear when he transforms my teardrops into rainbows
Like the fabricated dreams of him and me that impregnate my mind
I wish I could give birth to our love
But you don’t know that I exist
Beautiful

Do you know that I trace the outline of your lips with my taste buds to salvage the delicacies of your smile?

I think you’re beautiful like when the sun made love to the moon and created twilight
You are my light
You are sky to me
You are god to me
You are all I ever see
But you don’t know that I exist
Beautiful

I will peer through the curtains of your soul
Hoping to catch a glimpse of your spirit
I will perch atop heaven’s balconies
Hoping to dive into your dreams
I just want you to see me
Beautiful

Please tell me that you see me
Like I see you

She Wasn’t Fast Enough (the tale of the surviving Iraqi sister)

We ran
They shot at us
We kept running
They just kept shooting
We ran but we were not fast enough
They didn’t mean to hurt us
But they still shot at us
They shot at her

I grip her hand and want her to climb atop my back
“I will run for you” I scream
But she just wasn’t fast enough

Bullets fall from the sky like wounded angels
And strike like lightning
Pierce through her stomach like god eye’s sneers down upon humanity
She wasn’t fast enough

My heels dig into the ground as I sprint across the mud
Gunfire grazes my ear like the lips of death nibbling at the corners of my little sister’s soul
The pitter patter of her feet can’t compare to the thud of tanks
I reach for her hand
But they got her
She wasn’t fast enough
So now she is bleeding

Falling to my knees I feel the bloodied soil splash against my face
I drag her body to the river
She won’t stop bleeding
I can’t stop screaming
She is dying
She is dead

The reddened fabric drapes around her delicate olive frame
Strands of jet black hair wiggle about the murky water
Her head rests atop my thighs
My legs are folded
I have surrendered

She is dying in my lap
But she is probably dead by now
I know nothing of death
Not death like this

I sit there in the belly of the river
Her delicate lifeless body sprawled across my bloodied lap
Searching for god in her vacant eyes
I watch her last tear shimmy down her pale, cold cheek
I stroke her face and close her eyelids

She just wasn’t fast enough.

Expired receipts

I cling to things
Nail myself atop burning crosses
Sever all my senses
choke myself in links of coiled bloodied broken bones of damned desires
and then rot in hell
I peel my own flesh with the sharpened knife of unrequited love
Trying to deplete you
but still I can’t get rid of this
Somebody save me

The pitter patter of his heartbeat
Is deafening my soul’s expansion
He clips my wings with every passing thought of him that rises like phoenix

What is freedom without flight?

How many expired receipts can I try to cash in before I get my cash back?
I don’t want this love anymore.

when i rant at god (freewrite from algebra class)

I push past my tears as I write this poem
Push past lies to find truth
Push past pain to find freedom
Push past the devil to find god

I search for him in my sleep
In my fingertips
In the torn seams of my soul
But I never do
Find you

God

I probably shouldn’t find you because if I found you
I’d probably tell you that I hate you
And ask you why you hurt everyone I love
Why you hurt me
Why you let me hurt myself
Why you won’t let me love me

I’d ask you to open my chest with your almighty hands
And show me my soul
Tear out my heart, bloody, beating and all
Then let me die

I want to know that I’m human
That I can’t live without a heart
Because sometimes I wonder
If I even exist